The Vicki Gabereau Show - Monday March 5, 2001
 

Vicki: So my next guest has three, what a greedy boy, - series on the air. "Big Sound, Stargate, Stargate what?

Colin: SG-1.

SG-1, Beggars & Choosers, oh yeah, I forgot." Such the busy actor!- Not bad for a guy who had become so fed up with the profession that he almost cashed it in and became a Brain Surgeon. Please welcome, Colin Cunningham. So, you're an American originally, but now you live here? So, there's just one thing I want to ask you about your first name.

Colin: Sure.

How come Colin Powell is called Col-on? Like a piece of your body?

Colin : I saw him on Larry King, I think it was after the Gulf War, or something like that.  Larry said, "we'll be right back with Col-on Powell".  He said, "Larry, my name is Col-in, my name is Col-in, you know."

Why can't they get it right? Why do they call my cousin, I-A-N, His name is Ian.

I-A-N?

And in the US, they look at it and they say it like I-A-N Fleming. What is wrong with you people?

I don't know. I tell ya, I grew up the whole time - hell I didn't even meet another Colin until I was, like, 22.

I'm sure you did not

And then when I crossed the Canadian border, it was like, Colin, Colin, I'm looking around and nobody's talking to me, it's all the other people.

We have three names up here, Trevor, Colin, Kevin..and those are they. Anyway, welcome home, so to speak.

Thank you very much. No, this is home.

Why did you come here?

Oh my God, why did I come here?

Okay, we'll ask another question then, if you don't like that one.

I will say this, my life truly did, it changed when I crossed the border.  I was a struggling actor in LA, living on 5 for a dollar noodles, and peanut butter and jelly, and macaroni and cheese. And I just was going nuts. I was living above a pool hall on Western and Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, and it was like, there was an ambulance parked out front every other night, and it was just like, oh my god, I'm going nuts. And I had to leave, and I basically said "screw this. I'm gonna go, I gotta get out of here, get out of town" So I thought I'd go to film school. So long as I'm on sets, I'd be happy and to hell with acting, just put me around cameras...

But you'd been to theater school, you knew what you were doing, it's just that no directors knew it.

Well, no I had some limited success in LA, I did a stint on "General Hospital" but it was basically, I just got so sick and tired of constantly tugging on other people's pant legs for.

Pay attention, pay attention

Yeah, look at me, here's my headshot, here's my headshot, it was just like, you know what, I can make a movie just as bad as these people, so

So, I think I will..

Yeah, I mean so many actors sit around and they bitch and moan about agents and casting directors, and all that kind of stuff, I thought well I'll just hire them. You know, just put yourself at the top and find the money...that's a whole other nightmare and headache..

Of course.

But then all of a sudden, you're in charge of your own destiny I guess, that's kind of what I did.

And then when it's over, you actually have a credit, you have produced your own movie, which is what you did. We weren't actually going to talk about this until later because I think that the first thing that I had sort of lined up to talk to you about and have a clip of, is "Big Sound"... which is one of the thousands of roles that you now have.

Yes.

You play Mr. Keester, which is about the best name I've heard as a character. You know what a "keester" is, don't you?

I certainly do.

You certainly do.

The name is definitely a metaphor I guess for the character.

For a pain in the "keester".

I tried not to play him so..on the nose, you know...try to give him a little bit more...make it fun without being so, you know...

Was that an easy job to get?

Oh, no job is an easy job to get, but, I remember working very hard on it, when I heard that David Steinberg was involved, it was like, what is this, I wanna know what this is, I wanna work with these people.

No kidding, because he's the genius.

Oh my god, he's like one of the founding fathers of stand-up, or just intelligent humor, he's just incredible.

And for a guy your age, did you know who he was before he cast you?

Yes, I was very familiar with David Steinberg.

This is a good thing.

Oh yeah, no definitely. George Carlin, David Steinberg, Lily Tomlin. They had some real intelligent sort of humor and I think they really opened up the floodgates for a lot of other people.

Do you think that you're a comedian, you're an actor that can do funny bits?

Yeah, I play characters, that's basically it.  In fact, it's funny, I had an audition yesterday and I had hair down to my shoulders.

Did you wear a wig?

Yeah, I had a wig, and a bald, not a bald cap, like a Seattle grunge kind of guy. I love being able to do that, put on different faces and go and play.

You mean, you went to the audition knowing the

The material..

Yeah you knew it, and so what'd you do, rent a wig?

Yeah, oh I've got like a $5,000 tackle box I've got gold teeth, contacts for blindness, lenses, hair, I got everything.

You want me to be a nun, I'm a nun...

I've got this really cool thing, it's a nose-spreader - and it basically, and it's cool, and it spreads your nose and it gives you a completely different look.

I bet you look like a prize-fighter.

Yeah, it does, because I've got a bit of a honker.

Let me see, it's straight though, it's not a bad honker, it's not like a Bassett Hound or anything

So I love dressing up and putting on stuff.

Have you gone into an audition with your nose spreader, I can't believe you didn't bring it.

I will next time, next time I'll come back in character or something.

Oh next time, you think there's going to be a next time...so I don't know, you want to see him in action or not? Let's watch a clip from "Big Sound." Okay, go...

[ Clip from Big Sound episode "The Day The Music Croaked" ]

Yeah, in the immortal words of Colin Cunningham.."just have fun" so he and I will be right back after this message.

So, he's on Stargate SG-1, Beggars and Choosers - which is finished now, but will be in reruns for the rest of our lives, and also "Big Sound, and last year, was it that you produced z, that movie..

Oh, do we dare say the title?

Oh, Zacharia.

Well, we can say Zacharia, I mean it was known as Zacharia when we were making it and all that kind of stuff. Yeah no when we did Zacharia, Zacharia was a phenomenal experience.

You say the real title.

Zacharia Farted.

Yes, fine. I think you're absolutely right when you said that everytime somebody says the title they never forget the name of that film.

And that was the whole reasoning behind it. It was basically, it was like, look, we have no recognizable stars, we have no money for PR or any of that stuff, we gotta go to all these festivals, how are we gonna stand out?

And that was it?

Do a provocative title, you know, titles are changed all the time.

But you know what's stupid is, I swear like a steamer captain, you know I have a colorful vocabulary which I keep in check, but to say that word just sends me crazy.

It's amazing though, isn't it. Because if we had called it "The Ocean Is Blue" and had women getting raped and people getting decapitated, nobody would've reacted at all.

Yep, but to say that word, yep, it's just altogether too much. Did it make any money? It only cost a dollar.

Oh no, the film has done tremendously well, it's done well financially, it's done tremendously well just in terms of what it did for everybody that was involved, I mean we went all over the world, and we shot it for very, very little.

In an hour practically.

Well, it was a little more, yeah we shot in three weeks, but it was a year in the making. We didn't have the 2.7 million dollars, so we had to get the 2.7 million dollars in free stuff. But I want to tell you about last night, I want to tell you about last night. You guys put me up in a fantastic hotel over at the Delta Suite.

Why I thought you lived here.

Well, no, yeah, I do live here. But I had to come back to do the show because I was doing something else in the south, but it was so wild, because the room that I was in, this gorgeous room by the way, and I'm looking out over the city over Hastings Street and it's just so beautiful, and I look over and across the street, was the place where I used to do telephone sales 6 years ago.

Boiler Room

When I did not have a dime or a pot to pee in, and I'm looking down at these guys and they're on the phone, and I'm thinking that was such a desperate time and I've got this Japanese door, and it's just like it's absolutely beautiful and I'm thinking, life is such a trip, you know.

Isn't it just though? You don't have to drive a limo, we picked you up in a limo.

I know, that's right, you guys picked me up in a limo, and I said please send a town car, because I drove a limo for like 6 years, cleaning, oh god, it was just the worst and you know, I swore I'd never set foot in the back again.

Teenagers barfing in the back.

Cleaning vomit out every other night.

OOOH

It was nuts. So I sat up front with the guy, it was just like I can't, I don't want to sit in the back - that and if anybody saw me...it would be like, oh yeah, look at him.

Yeah, who does he think he is, with his blonde tips.

I so wanted to change my hair, wear a hat or something, 'cos I so look like Nick Keester, and I don't want to look like him.

Okay, now I want to ask you where this expression "I so, blah, blah," came from? "I so don't want to do that..."

I think it's the guy's version of "like, you know, like, you know."

But it must have started somewhere, where did it come from, does anybody know?

I have no idea.

I wish it would so go away. No, I think that's the wrong place, you have to say, I so wish it would go away.

I so wish it would go away.

God, so you sold your blood lately? Did that too, you can't do that in this country.

Oh yeah, no, when I was destitute and broke living in LA, I actually gave platelets.

And now you have a nice car.

You sell, have you ever given platelets. I so admire people that do this kind of thing.

I so admire...

I so admire, alright that's it, I'm not going to say that anymore.

When you give platelets, I didn't have any money for my rent, and in LA you can sell your eggs.

It's crazy.

I don't have any left, I'd be starving.

What they do is they put a tube in one arm that goes into this big like cappuccino machine behind you and the other thing comes in and it basically filters your blood, and I'm lying there, I'm going "oh my god, I'm so bad right now."

But it's real good right now, you got a big, fancy car, he's on three shows, he's real cute, he's got his hair colored, he's adorable, Colin Cunningham on Beggars & Choosers, Stargate SG-1 and Big Sound.